This is the section of the website where I opine about how I have been spinning my wheels for the past decade and struggling to find my place in an industry where nobodies get nowhere fast and capital is perhaps even more important than the art one wields as a means of persuasion.
Finding my style has been much less difficult and painstaking than finding the time to promote myself to the uncaring and attention deficit masses of the modern world. Content is the name of the game and I am truly trying to scour the depths of my imagination for creative ways to use either my music or the personality behind it to facilitate some kind of comeuppance.
So starting this blog was a part of that. A way for people to actually hear my voice and the way I feel about the state of things, either musically or socially. I have heard that folks are more attracted to a project if they feel like they have had some part in its development or have witnessed a shred of the humanity behind it. And that may be even more important for a musician like myself where the art in question is decidedly opaque and abstract, and often lacks a very crystal clear and concrete human element to it that is unquestionable in its authenticity.
And the idea of being a brand just sounds so disgustingly corporate to me that I get uneasy trying to tie myself to something as ephemeral as a trend. Even the idea of a logo for merchandising escapes me at the moment, and not for lack of attempts in various sketchbooks. Nothing seems to stick that truly represents the complexity and emotional depth of the artist hard at work at manifesting an interior vision into a physical reality.
So what is the vision? Many of you reading this (if anyone reads anymore) are probably wondering what the moniker Blakk Dogg even means. In mythology and literature (particularly the Yorkshire Barghest) it is a symbol of death and misfortune, a huge beast with glowing eyes seen as a harbinger of an undesirable fate. In my usage here, it is more relative to the Winston Churchill usage as a descriptor of depression, a foreboding feeling of one's past catching up to them like a hungry animal stalking its prey.
This is the main reason why my musical output for many years has been so recognizably dark and dissonant. This has extended beyond the beats that I make on my own, influenced by hours of indulging in sacrilegious and violent rap artists and gloomy and abstract lo-fi hip-hop producers, and has leaked into the projects on which I felt brave enough to record vocals. On Parchment, Tutone-Sotirios, and the only single to my namesake Blakk Dogg that has vocals, “Smoke,” are all born out of my love of rap and hip-hop and the culture behind it, and the depth of human expression that can be found within that culture, especially when it comes to human suffering and desire.
I don't know if I will ever give up wanting to rap. I often feel out of place in that genre, which is why my output has slowed to a screeching halt as of late. I have projects that I have been holding onto because I feel that they aren't good enough to match up to the standards that are present in that particular genre, a world that is fed by a dangerous dogma and undeniable greed and malevolence. A quirked up white boy from the suburbs gets immediately lumped in with a Hobo Johnson, a Macklemore, etc. For me to even consider adding to the oversaturated market of bleeding heart poets placing their innermost fears and their questionable morals into the spotlight seems incredibly superfluous, regardless of the level of authenticity with which it is delivered.
And so I guess that the uncertainty with which I take every unmeasured step further into this exploration of purported futility has also been a big part of the music that I make. That fear both behind me and in front of me is what propels me. In that way, I believe that I have the potential for greatness, as long as I do not let that fear consume me entirely like a hungry black dog.
If you are still reading this, I implore you to join me on this journey, to give me your thoughts and your blessings as often as you can spare them, for they truly do keep me going in spite of my many efforts to self-sabotage. I hope that you find these little stuttering rhythmic nightmares that I create are worthy of sharing with others going through similar struggles in their lives, even as a faint soundtrack in place of a memorable centerpiece. I hope that no matter how dubious you find my integrity or how unscrupulous you find my exploits in both my past and my future, that you find it in your heart to recognize the humanity within those fragile and desperate moments, and remember that we are all equally capable of great good and great harm.
Here's to making the best of every moment and always moving forward, never letting that black dog catch up with us.
Cheers,
Robert O.